i know we can make it...

... if we take it slow. Let's take it easy now, watch it go.

Some pretty poetic American men said those wise words once. Like knights in shining armour they came to let us be part of their vision. Or something like this .. well, i love the KILLERS and for me, their lyrics are kinda pretty amazing. Like this sentence. Great, just great. Nothing else to say.

Thinking about my future I have to believe in things like those.. I know we can make it..
At least I hope so.. my future will start soon, and then I have to know what I want to do with the next years from the rest of my life. Now I have mixed feelings for what my future might hold for me. On the one hand there is Stuttgart (not that exotic, but thinking about it I fear I will never find my way to Tristan if I already beg of Stuttgart). Gosh, would this Academy be great. I would be able to reach my goals, fullfil my destiny, and so on, and so on.. For my working-life future it would be just great. Price is acceptable, city is acceptable, train is acceptable. But I have to leave befind a lot.. maybe too much.

There is my family, which frankly is not the hardest thing to leave behind. Of course, I love them, cherish them but the hard thing to leave behind are my friends. Rita, Nora, Teresa and the whole rest of the lovingly friendships I made over the years. No more fucking-great weekends with the Elite ;), no more girl talk about.. well, the nearly one and only talkable guy, no more shopping trips linked with trying on shit we would never buy, no more depressive hours with my girl, no more analyzing of the guy(s) mentioned above. Could I leave this all behind?

Well, there it is.. like Rita and I already know. With 15 we got to choose, and today we think that our decision was wrong. But right now, I'm about to repeat this "mistake". Again, I might decide W over L. Will I also regret this? Or do I have to do it, for me.. Do I owe me this? Yeah, sure.. my life, my decision, my faults I have to deal with.. But this decision is kind of tough. Everyday (okay that's dramatic now, but often would be true) I want to change this decision I made. And now I have the chance.. but I make the same decision again?! Gosh, I don't get my life..

What do you need to do, if there is a chance to correct some great mistake you made in the past? What if you can reach this chance and it tells you, come on, girl.. now or never.. But was my decision back there really wrong or does my heart thinks so to give someone else the fault for my "loss"? Think about it, we will discuss it at our next meeting or so...

And there someone ever tells me again, that life is complicated age 14 .. ;)
[i]